Secret Diary Of A Teenage Girl.

I was just eavesdropping on a conversation between my Brother and Mum (I couldn’t help but over hear, honest..) about him dropping out of university and not feeling like a part of this family… He’s under the impression that Freddie and I look down on him, because he’s not as clever or creative or whatever as us. And honestly, he’s not wrong: He can’t sing like Mum can, he was never going to go to Oxford like dad did, he can’t act like Freddie can, and he can’t draw or paint in the way that I enjoy… but what he doesn’t understand, is what he did get… he can socialise. 
It seems so simple and even ridiculous… but he’s out at the pub every night, he finds small talk so easy, he’s always making everyone laugh, and every friend of mine he’s ever met thinks he’s great… and I envy him so much for that, and I know Freddie does to…He just doesn’t get that there’s more to life than intelligence or art… and that we’re the odd ones out, not him.

I’ve changed gym recently, and so I had to go through the whole induction thing again a few days ago. And the lady that was showing me round (Despite the fact I’m about to moan, she was actually very nice) didn’t even go near any of the weights!
We went on the treadmill and cross trainer and she showed me how to do squats and sit ups and that kind of thing, but just assumed I wouldn’t want to do weights… And then today in the gym I went into the weights room and was on the bench press and I could just feel the guy in their watching me thinking ‘Are you serious? You know that’s for men right?’ and it pissed me off so much! (and then I picked up the bar and he looked shocked and I was happy.)
Similarly, if you search for gym or exercise plans, the ones for men come up with weights, and muscle growth and so on, whilst women’s are full of ‘light cardio’ and ‘fat trimming methods’

I realise, that on the whole men are more into weight lifting than women, but  it drives me mad that everyone just assumes women don’t want to do it too. I can lift more than most of my male friends, and they still don’t take me seriously! Argghh. 

Andrew Scott.
Martin Freeman - If he wasn’t already Watson and Bilbo Baggins…
Alun Armstrong.
Alan Davis.
Sue Perkins.
Christoper Eccleston - please?
Roy Kinnear.
Rupert Penry-Jones.
Tony Gardner.
Harry Lloyd (They do have a habbit of casting old cast members after all)
Martin Clunes.
Stephen Magan.
Richard Ayoade
Eddie Izzard
Damien Molony

For anyone who’s REALLYY slow on the uptake and didn’t know matt smith was leaving - sorry, but you don’t spend enough time on the internet.

I’ve been reading lists of possible replacements… and I really don’t like any of them! I don’t think I want to it to be another young, ‘good looking’ man… and I really don’t want to it be someone who’s famous for being another character - E.g. Rupert Grint, or Benedict Cumberbatch…because in my head they’ll always be Ron and Sherlock.
I don’t know why it is… maybe because the younger the actors get, the more I realise it’s actually a children’s programme and I really should be doing more productive things with my time…? But I really like the idea of having an older guy playing it. This would also have the added advantage of meaning there wouldn’t be any idea of a relationship between the doctor and the companion, and he’d more of a father (Or Grandfather) figure like he originally was. 
I also don’t like the idea of it being a women… (Please don’t hate me) Not because I’m a sexist misogynist living in the past, but because I think people are suggesting it for the sake of equality, and not because they’ve actually found a possible actress that fits. (I mean Helen Mirenn… really??) If they find a lady who will fit the role, (I like the idea of Sue Perkins) then by all means cast them, but don’t cast someone just because they’re female.

Why is there a stigma about overweight people, but not underweight people?
People find obesity unattractive; throughout our culture, it’s seen as a negative thing, and it’s results in the judging, and often discrimination of the individual… but that’s not the issue I’m raising. I don’t believe that being obese is OK, or that ‘curvy’ women should be celebrated, because yes, it can be unhealthy, and people really don’t treat their bodies in the way they should (Me included!). The issue I have, is that being underweight can be just as unhealthy, and yet that’s seen as desirable; a sign of self control and of beauty!

Now, I know, it’s not for me to say what people should or shouldn’t do with their body’s, and this isn’t a post having a go at a particular size person. What I am having a go at, is the fact we don’t judge the two extremes equally… Why is a fat person bullied but a thin person admired? Why aren’t we educated about being underweight in the same way that we are about being over weight? And why does our culture have a constant goal to reach the ‘unhealthy’ section of a BMI scale? 
I really don’t get it.

I really wish someone would make my decisions for me sometimes…

I’m not enjoying training at the moment at all: I don’t like the politics behind sports, I’m not competitive enough in sessions, My coach isn’t gonna be my coach any more soon, I’m permanently ill or injured and honestly, I’m just bored.
But maybe it’s just a phase and I’ll get back into it? Maybe if I stop I’ll realise how much I miss is and it’ll be too late? Maybe it’s just the rubbish summer and exams making me feel this way?
And what about all the money my parents have spent on it? What about the time and effort I’ve put in over the last few years? It seems so stupid to waste that.

I really don’t want to be that person who gets to certain level at something and then just quits. I really don’t want to look back and think ‘Shit I really could have been successful, if only I’d struggled through.’
But at the same time, I don’t want to have to be that person who doesn’t go out at uni, or is on a permanent health regime because they take their sport so seriously, or doesn’t get on with a job and a family, and real life, because they’re still fixating on their unrealistic dreams. I don’t want to look back at my teenage years and realise that I wasted them getting up at 5am to train… 

Could really do with some advice guys?

I really enjoy doing workout videos, and I think it’s great that there are so many online that everyone has access to… but why are they all made by overenthusiastic Americans?! 
Don’t get me wrong, I like the american accent, there’s just something about it (Maybe because I only ever hear it in films and on tv?) that sounds so dramatic and fake… When they say stuff like ‘C’mon, feel the burn now, push through the pain!’ and ‘high intensity training that’ll take your mind to places it’s never been’… I just stop the workout thinking ‘I really can’t take this seriously when you’re so enthusiastic.’

Can’t I just have a lanky English guy, that’s slightly less keen, rather than the body builder women I’m watching at the moment who’s shouting buzz words at me while I do the exercise…?

Seriously guys, I’m British, we don’t get that excited about things!

So a couple of weeks ago I was staying in a hotel in Somerset, and being the clever girl I am, I left my phone charger there. But I didn’t realise until I got to the next place I was staying the following evening.. by which point my phone was on the verge of dying. This meant that I didn’t have a phone that evening, or for the four hour journey home the next day… and it was kind of ridiculous how stuck I was without it!
I didn’t have a book to read, music to listen to, tv to watch, anyone to talk to, or a game to play…I just lay there staring at the wall of my hotel room for the rest of the night, and now it’s slightly worrying me how much I rely on technology every day…I feel genuinely wrong if I leave the house without my phone in my pocket for just a few hours…
It’s not even as though I even have any pressing emails to send or messages to receive…I just use it for silly mundane past times! and yet I still can’t live without it…

I’d forgotten how utterly perfect this programme is! The script, the camera work, the music, the plot… Ahh I can’t wait for the new series!

Netflix keeps giving me romantic comedy recommendations, and I’m not gonna lie, I have such a soft spot for romantic stories; I love the meeting of two people, and the way they always hate each other at first but then their hate turns into flirting, and even though you always know what’s coming next, I still find myself smiling at the screen when they finally get together… But I really hate how they make me feel.
I really hate that they make me go all giggly and smiley, and they make me want to fall in love. It’s so stupid. I don’t know if I even believe in that kind of love, and here I am with this moulded, plastic view of what should happen, and how it should happen, and it’s so totally unrealistic because I know that’s not how relationships work. I know that sixth months after the final scene, where they finally kiss in front of the sunset and music comes on, they’ll most likely be stuck in a rut, and they’ll be arguing, and they probably won’t be happy any more.
But despite knowing that it’s not real, just imagining for a little while, that love exists makes me so stupidly happy… Just thinking that one day it’ll be my turn for that scene in the sunset, that it’ll be my turn to find my guy and that even if it’s just for a few minuets, I’ll be so freakin’ happy…

Christ, I feel pathetic.

This has been bugging me for ages and I really don’t understand - Why do some illness provoke sympathy whilst others provoke blame?

If someone is diagnosed with cancer, or a genetic disease, they’re showered with care and support (Rightfully so!). Similarly, if someone is diagnosed with liver failure (Whether it’s caused by drink/drug overdose or not) they’re given nothing but sympathy. And yet, with some illnesses (Primarily mental ones) people are avoided, and even blamed?!
They’re no different if you think about it - they’re all life changing, traumatic problems that require attention and treatment. None of the mentioned diagnoses are the individual’s fault, and none of them could be prevented (Except in some cases the liver failure but that’s a different debate all together) so why are people’s reactions to them any different? 
Why are people so apparently incapable of accepting mental illness (and others as well) as serious cases that require just as much sympathy as any other diagnosis?!

Just because we’re no longer together DOES NOT mean that I am completely without feelings. 
Saying ‘Yea…he’s always kind of pissed me off, I just pretended because you were going out’ IS NOT OK.
Talking about all the lies he apparently told when we were together? NOT OK.
Casually bringing up all the people he’s been with recently is also, NOT OK.
 
Has it really not crossed your mind that I still care about him, and that it still hurts when I see him with other girls?? Do you really think that just because you break up with someone, automatically means you resent them? Just because other people’s relationships have ended in drama does not mean that mine did! He’s been a good friend for years, and still is, so please, could you not insult him in front of me.

Living in London, and by the shops/river, means there are loads of tourists around here at the moment, and my friends get really annoyed by them but I really like it…

There’s this sort of statue thing that I cycle past everyday and, well, it’s not famous or anything, but everyone who comes here feels the need to take a picture in front of it. I love seeing how excited they get, and that there’s so much happiness in something that to me, seems just mundane… I’m so incredibly uninterested in my surroundings that I hardly even notice their beauty any more… but then I spot a backpacker, or a family, or friends coming here for the first time, and their faces just fill with joy at the sights of London… it reminds me how lovely it is to live here, and how much I will miss it next year. 

Anonymous asked: Why has your school cancelled your study leave?!

Apparently it’s more productive to have lessons all the way up to exams because no one does any work at home… I can kind of see their point but it’s still annoying!

And it really bugs me.
I was talking the other day about my school cancelling study leave (completely different point, but it’s really annoying) and my mum said something along the lines of ‘Well your life so easy anyway there’s no need for study leave to pass exams’…

Right, I know, my life isn’t that hard compared to a lot of other people’s, and OK, perhaps you do work harder than me, BUT:
- You’re in your 50’s and you’ve only just gone to university
- You got all of 4 GCSE’s
- You didn’t pass maths until you were 24 years old
- You slept through one A-level exam and failed the rest
- You spent your teenage years smoking, drinking, sleeping, and fuck all else.

Don’t get me wrong I have no problem with any of these; I’m sure my mum had a wild and exciting adolescence compared to me, but now that you’ve finally sorted your education out, don’t you dare tell me that my life is cushy, or that teenagers are all lazy, or that Alevels are easy, because you don’t exactly have the best fucking record.